Homesickness

It happens, it's unavoidable. Whether it’s missing your mom’s hugs or a true Oregon downpour of rain, it hurts. It sits like a snake in your chest. Sometimes coiled up so tightly that you can barely feel it, but when it expands, it seems to crush you. It also hits at really the most unfortunate times. Like sitting in a restaurant with your host family, and the song “New York”  by Alicia Keys comes on over the speakers and you start crying. I’ve never had any previous connection to that song, but apparently at that time and that moment that was the final domino. What I have been blessed with is a host family that loves me. As soon as the first tears fell, both my parents grabbed each of my hands and just sat there with me. We didn’t talk because we didn’t need to. I heard the words and I had my moment and with the help of Alia and Gonzalo, I was able to move on (and eat really good Chilean food). It has hit in school, and with one look at me, I am quickly smashed in a Chilean friend super sandwich by at least 15 people. Chileans love and care so deeply and so strongly, that showing sadness isn’t a source of shame, but a show of strength to have the courage to say, “ I’m having a hard day”.  I have found that this pain of separation, from my family, my friends, my city, my home, has not limited me, but has enlightened me to my inner strength. It has told me that it is okay to be sad, but also be happy. Feel every emotion fully and enjoy the rollercoaster of life